If I’m having a bad day. . here’s what NOT to say to me.

It can be challenging when talking to someone experiencing a bad episode of depression. It can be even more challenging when you say the wrong thing!

Here’s what NOT to say to me when I am feeling down.
  • Cheer up
Seriously, cheer up? Depression isn’t a chalk board you can wipe off when you’ve made a mistake. If I’m feeling down, the one thing I would love to do is “cheer up”, I don’t need a reminder of how hard this is to do.
  • It isn’t that bad
I’m fully aware that things can be better, I however, cannot see a way out of this darkness, so you telling me it isn’t that bad is like a bug on the fucking windscreen.
  • You take everything so personally
Yes, yes I do. Why? Because of my illness my self esteem is shot to shit. My psychotic tendencies mean I take everything and over think it, and I will most probably take ALL of your comments to heart.
  • Calm down
Calm? Calm? I work on a mood scale of one to ten and if you say calm one more time I’m gonna hit a twelve. My emotions are unregulated, calm is a state I wish to be in. Please stop telling me what to do.
  • Snap out of it
My whole world is tumbling down and you think I can just ‘Snap’ out of it. No. No, that’s not quite possible. There  are a million ways this could end in my head and ‘Snapping’ out of it is not one.
Here’s what you could say. . . .
  • No matter what happens, I will be there for you.
  • I love you and I care for your well-being, please call me if you need help with anything.
  • I’m sorry that you feel so down right now.
  • I am hear to listen, please tell me what’s going on for you.
  • You mean a lot to me, if there is anything I can do to help please let me know.
For me, what’s even better than words, is someone taking the time to break through the depression. To literally grab me out of the house and take me on a car ride, for ice cream, a blank stare at the ocean, a chat, anything. I might not be all that responsive or have much to say, but just the act of ignoring my ‘No I’m not coming out to play, I’m gonna lay in my bed all day’, and pushing me to do anything other than agonize over my blue feels, really goes a long way.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, my good friend mania cannot be reasoned with. Anything and everything you say will either be shrugged off, or looked into deeply in a bid to find some form of hidden meaning. So as far as I’m concerned, there is no right or wrong thing to say in the heights of a manic episode.

Love xo

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