Happy (belated) New Year!

Can anyone believe its 2021 already?!

Simultaneously the shortest and fastest year there ever was.

HAPPY NEW YEAR xx

I had the most chilled out and deserved break this holiday season. After what was a whirlwind of losing my job twice, returning to school life and sarting a whole new career, I feel like some R&R was much deserved. So we took our asses to a local hotel to soak up the sights and delights they had on offer. The food was glorious and I can’t say I hated the spa bathtub or massages for that matter haha

It was my first day back at work yesterday and it was a bit of a doozy in all honesty. I had to go to a different section of the hospital and long story short, I actually had to walk the corrider and enter the room that I had on a multiple occasions before, only this time I was on the other side. I suddenly had flashbacks of being escorted along that very walk in my darkest hour, whilst the health professional assisting me let me know that if I tried to leave the police would bring me back. It really doesn’t seem that long ago that I was in my complete worst state and although I have been to that hospital (and ward) many times, yesterday that one day in particular played in my head. That one day that changed my life forever.

I had complete chills BUT wow was I glad to see some changes in that ward. It looked a lot more inviting and less like a jail cell than i remember. – even the chairs appeared to be a lot more conducive to overnight stays! Then again, chairs aside, it could be my whole perspective that has shifted and not the overall atmosphere of a ward meant for psychiatric crisis. I mean how happy go lucky can things be when you are at the end of your tether.

Anyway, the whole day was a bit emotional and I came home with a firm push that I need to hold my self care at number 1 each and every day, especially in this new role. 

I had a chat with my psychotherapist about it today and he suggested I get back into journalling! I’m quite excited about it. I’m going to have good and bad days always but I’m going to learn so much, such is life. 

I feel so utterly blessed to have come this far. 

It was never easy and I know challenge lurks around many a corner, but for now I’m going to continue focusing on how far ive come and look on with hope to the future.

I hope you had a fabby time over the holidays!!

Love xo

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